Deep Point of View Versus Writing with Detachment

Is Showing Emotion in Fiction Always Necessary? Sometimes the facts speak for themselves.

There is a strong trend at the moment towards deep point of view and taking the reader inside the world of the protagonist.  The idea is to describe everything the protagonist is feeling and to immerse the reader so deeply it is as though they are within the protagonist’s skin.

It is an intimate, visceral experience for the reader with the intention of drawing them into the story.

With deep point of view, there are no assumptions. That’s because different characters react to events differently and as writers, we need to show those reactions.

In my own writing, the recurring feedback was that I did not show enough of my protagonist’s emotions. Rather than simply telling them that Helen lost her home to financial trouble, missed out on her dream job and was cheated in business by someone she trusted, my readers wanted to know how she felt about these events.

I took their advice on board and showed Helen agonizing over what to take to her new home and what to leave behind, forcing a smile on her face when she met the woman who took her job and the wave of coldness washing over her when she realized she had been cheated by someone she trusted.

These were Helen’s reactions and they were particular to her, but a more highly strung character might have reacted differently. Helen is a measured, reserved character, but someone hot tempered may have thrown everything into a skip, turned her back on the woman who took her job and confronted the person who cheated her in business.

I am glad that I took the advice of my beta readers and I believe my novel is better for it. But having said that, there is also a strong case for writing with detachment; of reporting events as they happen and leaving the reader to draw their own conclusions about how the protagonist is feeling.

In cases of writing about serious trauma, writing with detachment can be very effective. Sometimes, people in these situations are so overwhelmed that they shut down. Unable to process their emotions, they become detached observers to the events around them.

In her memoir, Beginnings, author Millie Bayliss states simply My sister died the next year. This statement sits starkly between two paragraphs describing her blissfully writing songs and poetry as a child.

The sentence is jarring and out of place, like the death of her sister must have been to young Millie. There are no racing hearts, sweaty palms or floods of tears, but she gets her point across; her sister’s death was devastating.

So while I am a fan of deep point of view and showing a character’s reaction in motion, sometimes a simple statement of fact can leave a powerful impact on the reader.


Beginnings by Millie Bayliss, The Victorian Writer, December 2019 – January 2020

Posted by naomilisashippen

8 comments

I’m a total newbie in fiction writing and it was one of my earliest troubles, how much of a characters feelings do you reveal and how much do you hide. In the story I am currently writing I have one protagonist who is emotionally open and one who holds things in more. Makes for very different treatments of the character development; and allows for interesting twists.
I don’t think I could handle deep point very well though.
Big thanks for a stimulating thought!
Andreas.

naomilisashippen

Hi Andreas, Thanks for your comments, yes it’s not always easy to decide how much to reveal about a character and how much to leave to the reader. Your two characters sound very interesting with one more forthcoming and one more reserved. K.M. Allan has written a great blog about deep POV, if your interested. You can find it on her website, I always keep it close when I’m writing. Cheers, Naomi.

I agree that deep POV (showing) has its place just like telling has its place. Too much deep POV would really leave the reader exhausted and maybe even can feel like we’re beating a dead horse. So knowing the kind of story you want to tell combined with understanding your characters’ motivations, triggers, traits, can help us to know when to show and when to tell.

naomilisashippen

Thanks, Kate. Yes, you’ve got to use your own judgement as to when deep POV is the best call and when it’s best to simply tell.

Naomi, your examples make the point quite well for both cases. There’s a time for submergence in emotion and a time for stating the facts without adornment.

naomilisashippen

Thanks, Phil. As in all things to do with writing, I think you just have to use your own judgement.

Great post! I agree there needs to be a balance. Readers are smart and can effectively infer how characters are feeling, but I also think showing how characters feel/react help readers connect more with the story.

naomilisashippen

Thanks, Emily. Yes, I agree, it’s all about balance. We need a bit of showing as well as telling.

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